no no no no no no no!

went to bed at 8pm cuz i was so tired i was falling asleep driving home. thinks that i can sleep from 8 to 4 and get 8 hours and feel real good! i never gets 8 hours =Y.Y=

woke up again under 2 hours later like always. haaaaaaaaaaates this! i just wants real sleep =Y.Y=

on happier side of things, i gots gentoo partially installed. got it past the spot it was stuck!

on sadder side, the cut on my spine is really infected. my roommmate saw it tonight and was really grossed out. it is bad, i checked it too. very angry, very red, very pussed n stuffs. my shirt rubs on it all day, so it gets messed up =Y.Y=

i try to post once more before sleeps, if i gets more sleeps.

need more sleeps!

been staying up till 4am and getting up at 5:45am. needs to stops that, cuz I am so tired now!

it is Decession's fault, he gets home very late and I likes talking to him. he is the one who answered questions for me about furs!

#socalfurry is chatty late night also, and I talk to them lots. makes it hard to sleeps!

I try harder this week to sleeps more.

feels very weird not having my tail. only 2 more days till racing, then I can wear it till monday night again!

stupid peoples!

I do nots work on friday. I check with office about job that needs to be done on friday. they promise me that theys can do job. get call from office manager, he got sent to do job and not know what he is doing. I helps him. tuesday comes, I am now doing the job myself cuz guy not do it even close to right!

this happen lots. I call and yell at the owner of the company. I am very sad cuz I wants to believe they can do stuffs, but they always leave it for me, which makes the client mad.

hates lazy peoples. if they told me it was not done, I would have done it saturday!

hopes I can finish before the doctor gets here, so he is not mad.

fudge.

gentoo hates the laptop I am putting it on! dunnos what to do now, cuz I dunnos what else to do with this thing. is a p3 1.2ghz. thinks the install hates the docking station!

will try a little more, then I go looking for ddr pads again!

bbq!

very small this year, was last minute. playing settlers of catan and abalone. very fun!

read a bunch of pounced.org last night. checked who all was within 50 miles of me. 3 transgender, 5 girls all to young to ever hang out with, and 76 males, most of whom are gay or bi. I thinks I am the wrong gender or sexuality! oh well, not changing that yet! got 6 months left anyway.

still have the tail on! been wearing it since thurs! will miss it when I have to take it off.

I go now, is my turn!


*murr*

poop.

Fridge hit me in the back a couple of times! Not so bad, did not minds...but now it huuuurts! worse, got cut by it. thought it was small cut, cuz that's what i was told, but checked the mirror now that i am homes and it is not so small, and it is right on my spine! i hurts!

must find rubs, snugs, and scritches. yiff sounds good too, but that is still a no no!

ugggggghhhhhhhhhh

moved fridge down stairs, into truck, to new apt, up stairs, into apt, does not fits! girl who measured did nots do its right!


owwwwwwwch. was under fridge the whole time. had to hold it up =Y.Y=

is good to be tall and strong, bad to be moving stuffs for other peoples.

uh oh

moving fridge time! I gonna die =Y.Y=

oops

was supposed to go out for breakfast with the old roomate today! i overslept =Y.Y= was up playing trivia till 4am like a dumbdumb ^^

now i gots to go help peoples move! they warned their parents that i was offensive =Y.Y= I am nots offensive! just cuz of thats though, i am wearing the tail ^^

ooooooooo

bit hung overs today! is ok though I had lots of fun. now to figure out what to do! knows I have too hang out with an old roommate who is in town on leave...should be fun. nots gonna drink much, cuz I already did that?s yesterday.

drunk!

also talking to a nice fur, cuz reese is nots home!

had fun talki7 to ulala!

*shakes paw at delivery men*

why must theys want to show up early and makes me be awake! apparently i passed out tired last night, wokes up with clothes still on...including tail =^.^=

is roommate's birthday today, so must give him prezzies. not saying whats, cuz i dunnos if he reads this or nots :p

he is picking me up lots of booze for fods tonight! i will prolly end up drunks on camera and post stupid stuffs here, as is my tendancy. not so smart, i knows. should nots be nudity though, cuz i know better ^^

hehe, tonight was great!

actually had two girls come up to me and ask me if I was a furry =^.^= Course then they asked me if i was into yiff!

was nots expecting that at all. never heard that phrase used outside of the net before! i got a good giggle out of it.

also had 1 person give me a hard time abouts the tail. that lasted all of 3 seconds before he figured out i was nots just a patron at the bar, and then he looked really dumb ^^

fell asleeps on the way home hugging the tail. was still wearing it, but it is 32" long so i can do thats. it is -soft-

still wearing it, and dont wants to take it off! is so nice! must get more furs down to racing. be funny to take over the bar =^.^=

decision made

tail is on, turtles stay home, designated driver on the way!

will be very drunks later =^.^= if i remembers how to types i will update then. otherwise i just go to bed!

ps: clicks me!

should listen from midnight to 2am pst if you cans. dj is a friend of mine, and is good. also takes requests, like catnip dream!

to tail or not to tail!

not supposed to wear the tail this week, but thinks i will anyway. i likes it =^.^= still, said i would nots so i should really not...but but but but but but but but but i wannnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


my butt, i can puts what i wants on it.

*murf*

boring!

hates doing xp installs. is easy, but boring.

giving real serious thoughts to next tail! soooooooooooo prettttttyyyyyyyyy!

ooooo puter is done formatting. work time!

Morning!

Today is a good day! Last day of work for the week, then I gets my 4 day weekend. Course i always gets a 4 day weekend, so that's kinda nothing new, but this weekend i am looking forward to. helping a friend move on sunday, and stalking bbqs the rest of the weekend, i thinks.

found a wolf tail that is pretttttyyyyyyyyyyy, i wants. prolly gonna gets, will see. still needs to pick up drinks for Friday, and i needs to pick up paper and stuffs to start sketching again.

DDR pad still on backorder for another few weeks =Y.Y=

oh wells, cant always get whats you want right when you wants it!

sad katzedrache

Kat sends me emails a lot. is nice hearing from her, and helps the day go by. she has seen star wars, i have nots. she thinks i's a geek and cannot believe i did not go! i don't really wanna yet, will go after less dumb people are there. she emails me today wanting me to go see it with her tonight!

i like spending time with kat, but i do not like driving to long beach and always paying for everything, so i turned her down. made her kinda sad, i thinks. i gots stuff to do tomorrow morning, so waking up at 4:30am after getting home at 2am is bad!

besides, i never gonna date kat. is tempting some days, but no matter how much i likes her, she is bad news for me and i know this. she wants only someone to give her sex and then go away until she wants more sex. i wants more than that, so i don't try with her cuz it not work out. also breaks the resolution to do thats!

she also said i nots her type, but she asks me out all the time. dunnos what her type is, dont care much. dont wants it to be me, cuz then things get all complicated and hard.

kat is good practice, but not a keeper. least nots how she is now, and i never want peoples to change. never works!

icky.

spent the morning in beverly hills. hates that place, traffic is icky and peoples on the street are dumb. walking in front of cars n stuffs, crossing streets illegally, never good. all because i had to delivers a phone to a guy who forgot it.

sitting at the office now, working on pcs! is boring, but is better than driving all over. don't wants to drive much after yesterday. that was bad! felt better late at night, played some guild wars, and talked lots on irc.

dunnos if the tail is going out on thursday. i thinks not, cuz i will have it on the week after for sure when i have to judge. that's gonna be hard, cuz i sit on the stage lots when i judge and will be hard to keep the tail clean. dont wants to mess it up, is too nice for that =^.^= would not wear it that week, but was asked to and i hates to turn down a request. i's kinda silly like that ^^

longest day ends!

been awake or had almost no sleeps for many days now, bout 1.5 weeks or more. finally feeling heavy eyes like how they feels when I can sleeps. funny, did nots get sick like normal!

psst: I am now in #socalfurry on irc.anthrochat.com, irc.furnet.org, and #fv on irc.stratics.com. come say hi!

no more energy =Y.Y=

wanted to do many things tonight for fun, but so tired! back hurts, head hurts, icky. took 3 hours to get home from work today. this is not fun stuffs. makes me want to leave los angeles! least it was just cuz of an accident and not normally this bad, but it made me think lots about how much AM talk radio I listen to and how uncomfortable my car can be.

don't thinks i gots the focus to code or redo templates or nothin. will see, might wake back up and feel better later.

Traffic!

405n was down to one lane. been in traffic for 1 hour! gone 3 miles. no fun!

least I can blog!

shoooooooot meeeeeeeeeee

i met my match today, at least for nows. just fixing some pcs that have piled up over the past week. none are business, all are personal pcs belonging to clients. all are bad spyware cases.

finally hit one that i cannot get clean. never ever had that happen before. i thinks i can get it eventually, but after three hours it is making me very sad.

things that have made me sad today:

I stayed up till 4am then tried to get a little sleeps in before work. finally got a little sleep, but woke up at 8am and was late for work!

smoked too much today. bought lights instead of regulars without noticing, and have been chain smoking way too much. is bad for me, need to nots do that.

this computer that wont let me fix it! is the opposite of good. is very evil and dumb and i hates it.

was late for work, so no foods. have not eaten in a couple days again. gots to stop doing that, is not good for me.

DDR mat i want is on backorder for likes, many months now. sucky sucky sucky!

things that have made me happy today:

two bad spyware pcs fixed with no effort. those are the bestest =^.^=

girl at a client site who saw me at Brennan's with the tail on made many many comments about it to me today. was very funny to me, and made me smile.

got lots to do tonight that isn't playing games! i likes having projects, makes me feel useful or not lame =^.^=

gonna talk to the girl who called me the other day some more. hopefully i talks this time and she listens some ^^



will have more to put here later!

I return!

I went ahead and began the recode for some websites I play withs. also got back on irc! will be on irc.furnet.org as me for a while. feels good to start hooking back into the net agains.

forgots how much I like making things for fun instead of cuz I haves to.

oh my.

if yous do nots read comments, you is missing out what should have been two actual entries, but ended up as responses to stuffs ulala asked. is very lengthy if you wants to read.

is right here

dunnos how many more will end up in there, but guessing a couple cuz she asks good questions that makes me think =^.^=

Test was fun!

Wrote the dumbest app ever. interest calculator with 3 processing options that all did the same thing, just went about it in different ways.

400 level class and doing stuffs i already knows =Y.Y= so much money for so little education! is not hard to use procedure, function, and embedded. could teach anyone who reads this to do it in about 15 minutes tops. still, felt productive.

gots to play some street fighter III: 3rd strike after class. did not do so good. normally i am the bestest there, today i was really meh. could nots focus enough to play good. had fun though, and i guess that's what matters =^.^=

up all night!

almost 6 am, no sleeps for me! gots an exam today, have to do live code. write up some unknown app in whatever time we is given. dunnos what to expect, should be funny though. i will more than likely make mine completely silly and stupid and the bestest in the class, just cuz.

vb.net is easy stuffs. dunnos why i takes the class, think it was required or somethings.

reminds me! us post office is funny. they messed up and tore a letter of mine in half. i gots it in an envelope appologizing for damaging the letter.

normally i nots care, cept that letter contained a check for over $2500 dollars. you stupid peoples, why you gots to tear my check? guess i gots to get it resent.

prolly be updating lots today. when lack of sleeps takes over i get real post-happy. might even post code during the exam just cuz =^.^=

second though, that's prolly dumb and get me in trouble. oh wells! you will be spared the spawn of stupid apps.

oh boy oh boy

little backstory!

long time ago i filled out the eharmony.com application thingy. a friend of mine had filled it out, and had no matches. he was annoyed. i didn't understand why, so he told me to go fill it out and see for myself. it is really really long! took a couple hours to fill out. when i finished, i had no matches either. unlike him, i found it really funny =^.^=

jump up about 3 months. i got a bunch of matches, which i looked at on occasion and just kinda ignored. never done internet dating stuffs, and never felt comfortable with it. is funny, cuz i spend all my time working with computers and being on the net for a living. i found a roommate on the net. i have no problem shopping on the net. i just can't understand dating on the net.

skip a few more months, and some of those matches were trying to contact me. i felt kinda bad, cuz i felt like i was ignoring em. yes, i'm wierd like that. i don't like to hurt people's feelings. being that i have been single for a while, and haven't had a girlfriend worth remembering (last one was really really crazy) in about 2 years at that point, i said what the heck and subscribed.

done some bantering back and forth, but never bothered actually meeting anyone. still haven't, don't really operate on the same level as those peoples. many have careers or want someone with a career, looking to settle down buy a house have all the kids etc. i wants that stuff, but not so sure i want it in Los Angeles. i don't have a career. i don't own a home. i don't make lots of money. i work part time and am working on a degree since i never did that when i was younger.

anyways, one of the ones who wanted to talk to me started wrote me a month or so ago and i never noticed. i don't check the site, and the notification email got eaten or something. i get another notice about something else, so i log in and see this month old message from someone!

I felt -really- bad. i had ignored this person for a month without noticing it. wrote her a note saying how terribly sorry i was. she wrote back, wanted my number! ok at this point, i'm still feeling bad so i give it to her. didn't hear from her for a week, which was fine, cuz i kinda forgot about it (hehe).

tonight, phone rang! didn't recognize the number, decided to answer it anyway. was this girl! talked for a couple hours, which is kinda normal for me. i likes talking. i live for it. problem here was she talked for a couple hours and i just kinda listened =^.^=

she likes some stuffs that i like, but is way more active than i am. i am happy to sit with a book or spend stupid amounts of time with my pc doing stuffs. i don't watch tv, ever. it was kinda obvious to me anyway that we weren't real compatable in that area. i like spending a couple hours a day with a computer :P

still, she wants to talk more. ok! i think we'll get along really well for doing stuffs and hanging out, but don't thinks we'll turn into anything worthwhile. just not my type i don't thinks. she is very cute though!

we'll see what she thinks of the tail one of these days, assuming I ever get off my butt and go meet her.

be even funnier if we end up dating and she runs into my new years resolution! that'll kill things faster than anything ever. kinda hopes it happens, cuz it'd be really funny to me!

ow ow ow ow ow

i hurts!!!

i went to faire yesterday, and now my neck on each side is so very very very burnt it is going to blister for sure =Y.Y= even turning my head hurts! gots to try to make this better soon.

i had lots of fun though! i gots a new mug for drinking things. i also drank lots of things! i saw many cool shows, and neat people. lots of fox tails too, but that's for something not-furry at faire. still, liked them. they were soft =^.^=

thinks i took some pix, but not sure. will try to find after i not so burned! sitting hurts and i gots to go try to make it lots better.

pix!

Nice lady emailed me some pix she took. She wanted to take some, so I said ok. Also 1 picture from a silly webcam thing tonight.

will not embed, cuz then you's gots to load em all! here's links.

picture 1!
picture 2!
picture 3!
picture 4!
picture 5!
picture 6!

Made it through the night!

Walked in with tail, walked out with tail! was at Jerry's with tail too.

peoples were...wierd. Normally I have at least 20-50 people a night come up to talk to me cuz they wants to ask questions. dumb questions mostly, like "can i bet on the turtles?" i gets that one at least 20 times alone. this night, only 3 peoples talked to me. two wanted to know if we were sold out, and one wanted to know when the next race was.

normally peoples take pix of the races. this night, people were taking a lot of pix before the races were starting, when it was just me talking with a girl up on stage. they were taking pix of the stage, and of me. that was not normal. the people sitting next to the side of the stage where i tend to hang out had many many wierd looks for me.

but know what? no one said anything mean, did anything mean, or was anything less than nice with me. they did nots know how to deal with the guy with the tail, i thinks. or, they may just have gone "woah wierd" had a laugh and ignored it =^.^=

all is fine with me! the owners of the bar and the mc and judge know that it is going to get stranger down there. going to have an appointment to gets a prescription for contacts and new glasses soon. once i gets that prescription, i can gets the cat eye contacts. i also gots to get the custom stuffs drawn up so i can commission someone to makes it!

i hads a very good time. the deli was funny =^.^= I had to use the litterbox when i got there. a guy came into the bathroom while i was in there and kept looking at the tail. he wanted to say something, but just couldn't. was the bestest for funny seeing his face :)

ooo, almost forgot. some people from several different client sites showed up and saw me. one was there cuz she was taking pix of it...the others just showed up. they did not knows about what i was doing. they do know i go down there, but they never show up. was very funny seeing them, and now next time i am at that particular client site (was different than the site the person taking pix was from) i am going to get an earful, I am sure.

did not meet anyone new cuz no one new was really talking to me. that was the only downside to the night, since i am used to talking to many many people. was kinda nice having a break from it though.

i thinks i liked it all in all! must do again =^.^=

boooooring

silly lady client had problem. i fixed problem. she wants me at her office when she gets back to confirm problem is fixed!

been sitting here 2.5 hours now waiting for her to get back. it is sad stuffs.

tummy is starting to get wierd on me. i think it is more scared of tonight than the rest of me. or it is telling me the rest should be scared. dunnos what to think! most of me not care too much what people thinks about it, but part of me knows a whole bunch of rejection could hit tonight and too much of that at once can hurt lots.

prolly not the best way to start, at a public place i frequent with repeating patrons up on a stage in front of about 200 peoples.

but where else do you start? may as well bite off more than i can chews right away and go from there. dunnos any furs in real life, so maybe i finds a couple tonight the fun way =^.^=

prolly nots though, guessing instead i will have the lesbian waitress commenting on it all night and a lot of wierd reactions. wierd is ok, i guess. i dunnos what my perfect outcome for tonight is. i thinks that is what makes me all butterfly-tummy. i don't know whats i want to happen. i dunno what will happens. just not sure!

i likes random, but i dunnos how much i like complete unknowns. not sure yet. thrill is good, but nerves are bad.

i will post more after racing and foods. will be at jerry's famous deli after the races for an hour or so for dinner and take out for tomorrow's lunch. is a long tradition that must be upheld!

will have tail on there as well, and prolly the kitty hat =^.^=

hehe

meeting with a silly guy who is trying to work with the most difficult of our clients. nice man, but I thinks his brain was going to pop. he did not anticipate all the pointless questions and stuffs that these people can come up with!

they gonna gets touch screens in all exam rooms for patients to input their infos!

will be fun to set up. also have tablet pc's but they kinda suck.

booooooooo, he's talking at mee again! I go pay attention now.

yawn

another day done! I did lots of good work today. fixed stuffs they said wouldn't be easy to fix. ate a good lunch! turkey sammich =^.^=

lots and lots of email, too. I likes email, gives me something to do when doing boring stuffs like waiting for updates to run.

tommorrow is my big day! kinda nervous, but I gonna be ok. stupid peoples will make fun, good peoples will have fun. gonna find out which is which!

lots of little things to smile about today. got a good scratching from a nice person at work. talked lots with another nice girl on the phone. she likes my tail, but not sure that's so good. says things she wants to do with it that are naughty! silly girl, i 'm a good katzedrache! still, it made me smile so it is ok. just needs a good rub and today would be the bestest in a long time! don't want to be greedy so I will accept what I gots and be happy. is the right way to be.

cya tommorrow!

ps: more needs to write me lots more, makes the day go so fast! any can post here and any can email me. maybe I put address up!

kd at katzedrache dot com]

boooooooo

I hates working with ceo's who take 3 hours for a 15 min job cuz she keeps taking phone calls for unrelated stuffs.

do not care abouts your dog, lady!

New day!

I gots about 2 1/2 hours sleep. I feel so good! It's pretty funny reading yesterday and seeing my head not working so good.

back on the job fixing stuffs today! I like feeling useful. no hard stuffs today. just gots to do small sever config and some user puter stuff. only 1 program thingy to fix. should be nice!

Yay!

I still have not slept. I want to, but cannot. This is no good and no fun. I did decide to do war upon the template I was using. It is now plain and simple and waiting for me to make it not so plain and simple. I do not hold my breath for that, cuz I know me and I's laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzy.

Gonna try to sleeps some tonight, hopefully eyes go closed soon. Hates them in the face for not wanting to behave and stay shut.

Stupid eyes.

The small things that made today worthwhile

I got a good giggle out of a client's reaction to a picture of my tail.

The drive home was only 1.5 hours and the sun wasn't too warm! I don't like really hot, it makes me more tired.

I woke back up after a nummy sammich found my tummer.

My pda posts work!

I went home early cuz work was no fun. Nice to do that sometimes!

My cell phone kept ringing and the ring tones are funny! Clients hate me sometimes.

I smiled a lot while being mostly insane due to sleep deprivation.

No one was mean!

Done!

so tired now brain not doing the thinking thing so good. going home, cuz I can. self employed so nice sometimes!

will try to leave coherant entry when not so tired and not posting from my pda. not so good with the mini screen based keyboard thing when my coordination is zero out of fifty.

fire #2

not a fire. is owner of company promising to do something and not doing it. nows I gotta cover his butt by doing the installs.

no lunch yet, tummer is starting to hurt.

long day!

fire #1

"My pc is slow and my webmail doedn't print!"

ok silly, I will runs to you as fast as I can!

ok, I am here. lesse...

your puter has lots of spyware just like last time. you wants it fixed again? ok. if yous stops surfing naughty sites at work you not have these problems, kay?

I wants lunch, but dunno what I gonna gets yet. I thinks chicken melt and soup.

work!

The day has started! I gots almost no sleep. Spring means insomnia, and insomnia means work is no funs at all. Gots to try to finish the research department's PC upgrades, but my brain is all broked. Prolly put it off to tommorrow and just play fireman instead. Fireman is the guy who runs around from client crisis to client crisis putting out the unscheduled fires of stupid peoples.

Lots of those. Lots.

It begins.

This blog has been created to give one of my personas a place to roam free. It is an experiment, and should be viewed as such. There's a side to me that I'd like to explore a bit more, and I want a place to drop all the thoughts and experiences it has out in the real world.

For over fourteen years, I have been roleplaying various characters in various games (both pen and paper and online). Over the past eight years, one particular type of character has come to the forefront time and time again as something I have enjoyed. That particular personality has been used dozens of times, with dozens of modifications. Originally it was innocent and naive, illiterate, and unknowing of how things worked in any given world that it was used in. The last incarnation to be played was not so naive, but still had a rather innocent view of events.

The one common factor beyond that personality: all these characters were furry.

Every single one was a catfolk, or a catfolk/dragon blend. I loved them, and I loved the way I felt when I played them.

Am I a furry? I really don't know. I don't have any kind of sexual tieups with this particular persona. I don't have a desire to have a sexual experience with someone in a fursuit, or some imaginary character that doesn't really exist. I don't do TinySex. I do know that a sexual desire is -not- the basis for the fur community. Yes, there are those out there that certainly have those desires, but they do not necessarily make up the majority.

Of course, these views are as an outsider looking in. I haven't fully embraced this side of me, nor have I turned it away. I haven't spoken at length with anyone in any kind of sincerity about my desire to explore the fur side of life. People know about it, but those people assume it's a joke or me being a wacky bastard like normal.

I've taken the first step to introducing KatzeDrache to the public. I turned him loose on a message board I help run. He had a different name that time, but it was the same old persona I've come to love. I have shown up at the bar a couple times now with small ears on, but this is a bar that knows me for showing up wearing the most offensive thing I could come up with at the time, so no one there really bats an eye when I pull something wierd.

The next step comes this Thursday. I have a tail now, and I will be wearing it out to Brennan's Pub in Marina Del Rey, CA. Those of you around Los Angeles may know what that means. Turtle Racing. Yes, I am a regular and an active participant. If you've been down there, you've seen me, though you may not know who I am based on this posting.

You can hit the Turtle Racing website and find a link to the live camera feed that plays during the races and find me, if you like. I'm up on stage all night. I've judged in the past, and I'm sure I'll get suckered into judging again in the future. I help where I can to keep things running.

One disclaimer before I end this post: This is the last post -I- will write. All future posts will be KatzeDrache posting whatever he bloody well pleases. Yes, I'm quite aware that we are one and the same. Yes, I'm fairly certain I'm not batshit crazy just yet. I've adopted different personalities and behaviors for psychology papers in the past. I've written countless research papers on how people react to different and drastic changes in a person. This is a bit different, though. This isn't for a paper. This isn't going to be a drastic change. I will be taking it one step at a time. This is for me, and finding out what I need to know.

Am I a furry?

Do I -want- to be a furry?

KatzeDrache certainly is, but KatzeDrache is just the latest name assigned to a long running personality that's been used time and time again. This time I'm hoping to let it become a full fledged persona; not just something I've used in games and online.

And with all that out of the way, it begins.

PS: You can feel free to contact me from this blog via comment or email. If you're a part of the fur community, I'd really love to hear from you as I don't know what this all means yet. I'm sure I'll find out eventually, but it's always nice to have someone on the inside to help you see what you're getting yourself into.